mimikyuno:

mimikyuno:
im literally sobbing in bed trying to sleep but mizu5 literally tore my heart out. i cant stop crying fr. i genuinely think mizuki akiyama is making history as one of the best written trans characters im so serious. the kindness and carefulness in which her story is being told is mindblowing. this event was perfect tbh. im so fr. no way after such a long wait the secret was gonna be revealed with happy tears and there. done. this event Physically altered the game. it’s the only event to do so, and the only event to end on such a cliffhanger. the way the whole event gets the player to empathise fully with mizuki - you feel her anxiety and her fear and pain. and then the rooftop scene. it was unbearable. her coming out was taken away from her. she had to see ena’s shocked expression from the sidelines. ena, the one she wanted to tell the most. ena, who has been waiting for her by her side for all this time. seeing the realization dawn on ena is too much for and she runs, like she always has. even though she Knows ena was just shocked. she Knows ena and niigo will accept her.
(sidenote i cut lots of dialogue from the screenshots above bc tumblr 10 images limit)
“you’re so kind, ena.” but that does not matter. it’s all ruined. in niigo’s eyes, mizuki was just a girl. a “normal girl”, as the classmates called ena. even if niigo accepts her, she’s terrified that they’re never gonna see her as a “real girl” again. just like her classmates. this change in their perception is heartbreaking, terrifying. and even more than that is the fear that from now on, niigo is only gonna act normal around her out of pity. the thought is unbearable. it’s all ruined. nothing can ever be like before in mizuki’s eyes. her precious, safe place was ripped away from her. mizuki’s pain felt so real and raw that i still get chills when i think of the last two chapters of this event. the way ena screamed and ran after her, her desperation to reach her, her horror at seeing how much mizuki’s been suffering, the way mizuki’s coming out was also taken away from ena. their precious moment, long awaited, stolen and destroyed by some careless, transphobic comments. “are you also a dude?”. ena’s anger at herself for not being able to reassure mizuki, for not knowing what to say in the face of all that hurt and fear.
the event ends with an unskippable black screen, and mizuki’s voice saying “you reap what you sow,” and then these lines:
mizuki’s dissociation and suicidal thoughts hit me like a truck. as meiko told kaito, this situation is so fragile. and all it took was ena’s shocked expression to send mizuki into a dissociative spiral.
and dont get me started on the song, “obake no hana”, or ghost/cursed flower. the lyrics bring to the surface all this raw pain and fear and self-hatred. the 2dmv for the song features eyes that keep blinking in an unsettling manner, and the rest of niigo is staring at the viewer with eyes full of disgust, literally a manifestation of mizuki’s deepest fear. that deep down, they will think she’s gross, and weird, and not a real girl.
in mizuki’s card, “what has been lost”, she’s blindfolded, all the mannequins have the clothes ripped off, there’s a broken mirror in the back. it is the visual representation of dysphoria and internalized transphobia. as a card, it perfectly mirrors the one for the “secret distance” event, named “feelings i have come to realize”. and interestingly, obake no hana also has a similar melody to the song for that same event, IDSMILE. however, both the card for this event and the song both feel like a corrupted version of “feelings i have come to realize” and IDSMILE.
ena’s card, “in the painful twilight” is the one that broke me the most tho. she looks heartbroken, yet so tender. she’s touching the reflection of the water, mirroring mizuki’s first 3* card in the game, “uncompromising obsession”. she’s holding a red ribbon, as red as the accents on mizuki’s clothes, and is touching the water with longing and love. in “uncompromising obsession”, mizuki smiled, while her reflection, under the water, showed her pain. and ena finally sees it too, and reaches out, tenderly. there’s a pink rose that has lost 3 petals.
there are scattered petals in kaito’s 4* card and a pink rose in mafuyu’s 3*. here, the lone pink rose in placed inside an umbrella, a callback to mizuki’s 4* card “the words only i can convey”, the event in which she offered the words mafuyu needed the most and enabled her to start her healing journey.
in kanade’s 2*, she’s holding the same ribbon that mizuki had in the trained version of “feelings i have come to realize”, a ribbon that, incidentally, featured the colors of the trans flag, in the right order (🏳️‍⚧️).
niigo loves mizuki. all of them are tenderly reaching for her, looking over her, holding her. they see her for who she is, and love her for who she is. they will not abandon her. and not out of pity; but how can mizuki see that, when her eyes are covered?